5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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