Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
