That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
