I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
