I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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