he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
