Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Boobs are out for the taking
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
