i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
