And the cops told us we were all naked.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
