he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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