yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
