Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
