haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Quick, to the slutcave!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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