party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize