her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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