dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
