I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
