Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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