? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
