I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
