I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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