Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
