Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
