does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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