do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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