I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
