id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
These tits shall not be calmed
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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