I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize