He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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