I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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