I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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