We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
