What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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