Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize