im gay
i know
yea but for you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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