you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
