Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
