twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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