I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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