glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
