You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
