just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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