Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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