so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
