Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
