I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
