If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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