everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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