Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
