Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
