No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
