i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
