I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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