I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
