if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
