I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
