i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
