Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
