I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
