She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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