I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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