They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
